


Slippery When Wet

by yodepalma



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Clarus shows up for like two seconds, Gen, Ignis is a BAMF, Non-Graphic Violence, Pointless, Robbery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 08:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11144472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodepalma/pseuds/yodepalma
Summary: Ignis’ sigh is perhaps a bit melodramatic, but he thinks he can be forgiven considering he’s facing down an armed robberin his bathroom.





	Slippery When Wet

**Author's Note:**

> I've had the notes for this little drabble sitting on my computer for _months_ , and I only just managed to write it yesterday. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Leaving his front door unlocked for Clarus was apparently a mistake. Ignis’ sigh is perhaps a bit melodramatic, but he thinks he can be forgiven considering he’s facing down an armed robber _in his bathroom_. The man holds a knife up (incorrectly) and says something threatening that Ignis doesn’t quite catch over the sound of his shower running.

Honestly, he’d only _just_ gotten in. Is it too much to ask for a few minutes to relax? Ignis turns off the shower and steps out of the tub, absent-mindedly reaching for his glasses.

“I said _don’t move_!” the would-be robber snarls, but there’s a note to his voice that isn’t anger. Ignis doesn’t figure out what it is until he puts his glasses on and can see the leer on the man’s face. Fantastic.

“I suggest you put the knife down and leave,” Ignis says, keeping his voice calm. He doesn’t actually expect it to work, but at least when the authorities show up he can say he _tried_ to resolve this peacefully.

“Look, man, just get back in the shower and pretend you didn’t notice me,” the man says, his knife wavering in front of his face. “And nobody will get hurt.”

Well, he isn’t _wrong_.

Ignis keeps an eye on the knife as he takes a step forward, and isn’t surprised when the man leaps to stab him. Ignis grabs his arm and slides to the side, swinging the man around and accidentally throwing him right into the tub’s ledge.

“Sorry,” Ignis says to the unconscious man. He briefly considers leaving the man there while he finishes his shower, but he’d be _really_ irritated if he was interrupted again. Ignis sighs and bends to pick the man up, throwing him over his shoulder and carrying him out to the living room.

Where he’s confronted by two more robbers. Is he cursed? Do the Six actually hate him _this much_? Honestly, none of these idiots even thought to carry a _gun_. How inept can they be?

He drops the man he’s carrying to the floor and adjusts his glasses. The movement seems to wake the other two men from whatever stupor they’d fallen into at the sight of their fallen companion, and one of them yells inarticulately as they both move in to attack.

It’s not even a fair fight. Ignis makes short work of them, and while he’s looking for something to tie them up with there’s a knock at his door.

“It’s open!” Ignis calls. Clarus steps into the room with a cake box precariously balanced on one hand and raises his eyebrows at the men groaning on the floor.

“Do you need a hand?” Clarus asks dryly. Ignis spares him a brief glare, but he supposes it’s a fair enough question. His hair is still _dripping_.

“Would you mind cleaning up?” Ignis asks, already heading back toward his bathroom. “I’m going to finish my shower.”

Clarus’ amused chuckle follows him down the hallway. Ignis slams the bathroom door behind him and resists the urge to throw his glasses. He _hates_ Wednesdays.

**Author's Note:**

> Clarus is bringing Iggy cake because my little corner of headcanon says Clarus trained him to fight. :D


End file.
